Serendipity

Welcome Wagon - Shooter

2010-12-13T11:45:00.000-08:00

Welcome Wagon - Everett "Shooter" James

"Oh hey...sorry I didn't see you there. I just moved in this afternoon, grabbed my board and figured I'd let off some steam. Looks like I've got some visitors..."

Shooter: *shakes hands with Rafe* Everett James but everyone calls me Shooter.
Rafe: *gripping Shooter's hand tighter than necessary* Yeah, right, I heard. I believe you've met my wife. I'm Rafe.
Shooter: You mean the cute brunette with the really nice...err...eyes?
Rafe: ...

The Welcome Wagon - Ezra, Gemma, Melinda and Rafe

Gemma: Why does everyone discuss food around me? Fried eggs make me queasy.
Shooter: *shakes hands with Ezra* Say did you happen to notice where that other brunette went?

Shooter: Excuse me, but I really don't like people messing with my kit. You're not even holding the sticks correctly. How would you like it if someone was improperly handling your equipment, your livelihood?

Cooper arrives. If he isn't a part of the official Welcome Wagon, he always shows up anyway.

Coop: I just thought you ought to know your wife is on her way over.
Rafe: *sigh*

Melinda: ...so you see I am quite accustomed to people handling my equipment. Just one second; I'm going to get some more oil.

Mel: There now doesn't that feel much much better?
Shooter: *moans then mutters something incoherent*

Meanwhile *waits at the front door*

Gayl: Tell me something...were you ever a ski lift operator at Heavenly?

Shooter: *considers shot* I've kicked around Tahoe, Reno, Sparks. Never operated a lift at Heavenly though. Sorry.

Shooter: Eight ball, side pocket. Game, set, match.
Gayl: *can't stop making that ridiculous face*

Shooter: Sweet victory!

Gayl: Where did Gemma run off to? She was here a minute ago...
Mel: I happened to mention something about fried eggs and she turned a bit green and headed for the guest bathroom.

Gayl: You are so naughty!
Mel: *laughing* So I'm told.

Shooter: Guess I should have ordered take-out. It isn't like I had time to actually shop for groceries; I just moved in. They'll have to deal with veggie sandwiches.

Gemma: Who manages your band Shooter? You know I happen to be an excellent agent.
Shooter: Yeah...nice of you to offer but we manage the business ourselves.

Shooter: so you see I saw this real bright light and I was DAMN what is that, is it like an alien abduction, then Rob says, man that's the sun, it's 8 AM and you're on my couch.

Ezra: *wondering how he got on this list and how he can avoid it in the future*

Shooter: *realizing his party stories are not going down well* Does it ever snow around here?

Gayl: *brightly* It might...not usually though...but it might!

Gayl: Are you sure you never worked at Heavenly? The resemblance is uncanny.

Mel: You're writing porn?
Rafe: Melinda, I didn't say that.
Mel: You're writing PORN???

Ezra: I really should be going...
Shooter: Totally, man...

Gayl: *watching Rafe, who is more than half naked, playing video games with Shooter*

Gayl: I really have to get home. Welcome to the neighborhood Shooter. I hope you're comfortable in your new home.
Shooter: It's great Gayl, really. I'll be very comfortable.
Gayl: Well good night then. Rafe, honey, it's getting late. Time for bed.
Rafe: Right behind you baby.

Shooter: So you see, I look like this guy but I'm not really him. A doppelganger maybe but, I'm not that guy. I am pretty wicked on a pair of skis though. Never met a double black diamond run I couldn't take.

Gemma: Maybe you have a twin and you were separated at birth. Or you have a cousin that you look exactly like.

Shooter: Like that could happen...

Gemma: It could happen...it could!

Shooter: You want to kiss me right now don't you.

Gemma: Don't be ridiculous.

Shooter: You'll have to really work for it babe.

Gamma: You're being an ass. I don't want to kiss you. I don't, I don't!!!

Shooter: I think she does...don't you?

Shooter: Rafe, weren't you supposed to follow your wife home?

Shooter: Sweet! A little trick I learned hustling pool in Silver Springs. Good times...

Gratuitous skin shot *le sigh*

Shooter: That went well...time to hit the rack and get some ZZZs.

'Nite ladies...

Ladies Night

2010-02-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

If you hear any noise
It ain't the boys, it's ladies night, uh huh

Gayl: Are you sure this is the right place?
Beth: I'm sure. This is one of the hottest clubs in the Metro area.

Gayl: And Coop knows you’re here?
Beth: hehehe….I’m with you. He knows that much.

Beth: See? I told you. Let's grab some drinks before the show starts.

On disco lights your name will be seen
You can fullfill all your dreams
Party here, party there, everywhere
This is your night, baby
You've got to be there

Beth: Two Bombay Sapphires please.
Gayl: You can make those doubles actually. The show is about to start!

Gayl: I'm...not sure where to put my money.
Beth: *laughing* I know where I’m putting mine! Make him earn it!

Beth: Damn that works! Come to mama!

Gayl: I can't take my eyes off his...money.
Beth: Oh yeah right! Hey baby show Gayl your money!

Gonna step out ladies night
Steppin' out ladies night
Gonna step out ladies night
Steppin' out ladies night

Girls, y'all got one (what?)
A night that's special everywhere
You dance, you smile, the guys go wild
So chic so fine you all looks so divine

Beth: Didn't I tell you this place was jumping? Those thongs were stuffed!
Gayl: I know! And they got lots of cash too!

Gayl: We should make this a regular deal, this girl's night out thing.
Beth: *laughing* how about we make it a deal right now? Every Friday night we go scrapbooking. You’re up for it?

Gayl: Scrapbooking….scrapbooking it is. Next Friday?
Beth: Next Friday. Scrapbooking. Let's set fire to all the scrapbooks, starting with mine.

Taylor Welcome Wagon

2010-01-01T11:18:00.000-08:00

First Welcome Wagon in a new Neighborhood: Rafe and Gayl Taylor greet the neighbors. Like always, whatever happens is whatever happens. All we do is try to interpret.

Gayl: Hi Cooper! Love the hair!
Cooper: Thanks. Beth likes it. You guys moved into the new neighborhood with no trouble?

Gayl: I don’t think the guy across the street made it but we’re good. So are you going on tour soon?
Cooper: Yeah I think I am – want to come up with a name for me?
Gayl: Hmm, let's see...The Eagles already did the Hell Froze Over tour...

Camilla: Hi Coop….that’s some hot coat! Those are some hot jeans!
Cooper: uh yeah
Rafe: What’s going on here? He keeps asking me about being friends.
Beth: *watching Camilla* Well go be friendly then.

Camilla grabbing Cooper and sitting down on the grass. It’s the middle of winter.
Camilla: How’s your bank balance? As hot as your jeans?

Cooper: Bank balances are not really your area of expertise, are they Cam? When did you last check yours, around 3 AM when you hit the ATM?
Beth: *thinking about babies...why am I always thinking about babies? Maybe I ought to call and check on the one I've got since I left her with the twins.*

Camilla: *admiring Cooper* You are so hot you're burning my finger...kiss it and make it better?
Cooper: *WTF...*
Beth: *I can think of something you can do with your finger*
Rafe: *Great, I got the Cooper Stanfield Fan Club Welcome Wagon.*

Gayl: You know I don't remember the roads being this curvy. I got a little queasy on the drive over.
Rafe: You think you're pregnant again?
Cooper: Actually it's a pretty straight shot over the bridge. Are you sure you're getting enough sleep?
*Beth's and Camilla's forks freeze wondering if she is knocked up...AGAIN*

Camilla: *ignoring the whole thing about whether or not Gayl is pregnant; if it’s not Gayl, it’s going to be Beth because both of them are always pregnant* So how much money do you guys have anyway and I bet you pave your drive with gold bricks don’t you? Or the bathroom that’s all gold isn’t it all gold?
Beth: *using frozen smile. Is she ever going to stop with this?*
Gayl: *oh god that is rude*
Rafe: *picks up Autumn and leaves the room before he says something he shouldn’t say*

Rafe: *Good thing Gayl doesn’t give a damn about gold toilets, and she's looking very fine today*

Cooper: *trying to change the subject and leave the room* It’s a great house, Gayl.
Gayl: Thank you, Coop.
Cammie: Why’s everybody keep talking about the house? Isn’t the same house? How did it move anyway and did mine move?

Rafe: Why is it always you? You always show up in the Welcome Wagons. Give it a rest! You’re not the center of the damned universe.
Cooper: Sure I am. I’m the star. It’s all about me.

Cooper: Come on, Rafe. I thought we were going to try to be friends, for Beth and Gayl’s sake.
Rafe: *wondering if he ended up in the wrong neighborhood, maybe some kind of test place where the people look the same but aren't* No, that never happened. I agreed not to kick your ass. I don’t recall agreeing to be your friend.

Camilla: What’s the problem you have with Gabe? You and Rafe, you never liked Gabe. And he might have been in prison all this time and just got out or broke out and that would be a bad place for Gabe because he wouldn't like it.
Gayl: I never said anything about Gabe! Gabe was in prison?

Gayl: Camilla, are you telling me Gabe broke out of prison? They’re going to be looking for him – he hasn’t come back here, has he?
Camilla: Oh like I’d tell you or Rafe and I didn’t say he was in prison did I say that? I didn’t say that!

Cooper: It’s about Heydon, isn’t it? That’s why Cam keeps pounding on us about money?
Beth: Of course it is. Don’t pay any attention to her. I don't like the way she keeps staring at your jeans.

Camilla: *leaving the kitchen, nobody cares about Gabe but she knows something, Gabe had a baby well Gabe didn’t have the baby but there was a baby*
Cooper: *tired of dealing with Rafe and Cam and thinking he’d like to get closer to Beth*
Rafe: *wondering how Camilla walks in those shoes* uh, hey Cam. There’s a chair. Over there, in the corner. Try to avoid stepping on my daughter on the way.

Autumn: *watching Aunt Camilla walking around in really big boots*

Cooper: *getting his wife up close and comfortable, and she’s getting into it, and it’s annoying Rafe which makes it all the better* We’ll give you a call, Rafe. Gayl’s always welcome.

Camilla: *this isn’t any fun. Maybe I should get married and get a honking huge engagement ring.*
Rafe: *watching Cooper start to move in on Beth, on his couch, in his living room* Look, you two have a house now, right? Maybe you should go there.

Rafe: *grumbling* Does he do that everywhere?
Gayl: They haven’t seen each other in a while, that’s all.

Rafe: Did he take some kind of trip? I mean, look at them!
Gayl: They did have some trouble but I don’t think it was a trip. I’m not sure how long it’s been –
Rafe: It hasn’t been that long! They’re out of here, all of them, including Aunt Camilla.

Gayl: You’ll remind them about the curve before they hit the bridge?
Rafe: Sure, I’ll draw them a map, anything. I’m going to have to give them our bedroom if I let them stay much longer.

Rafe: Look Camilla, I appreciate the compliments, but you do remember you’re my Aunt. You remember that? Thanks for the welcome wagon visit. Everybody’s leaving, including you.
Camilla: Oh right…maybe I forgot that. And you’re welcome okay bye!!

Gayl: *That went well, apart from Camilla and the thing about Gabe, which was strange. I think this is going to be a good year, yes a very good year!*

Rafe steps up behind Gayl and sweeps her off her feet and into his arms.
Gayl: *laughing* I hope you are carrying me off to bed and ravaging me...
Rafe: Hell yeah I am...I've got my own brand of rock 'n' roll!

Much later...
Gayl: I think we're going to be very happy here...
Rafe: It's a new year, and it's good to be home. It's very good to be home.

Dinner at the Stanfields

2009-12-15T06:31:00.000-08:00

Created in enormous relief upon leaving the lot from hell. A sort of Christmas present to Gayl, although it didn't turn out the way I expected. And I decided to leave out the 'fireside romance' shots since, after all, it's...well I just decided that much sex didn't work here!

Beth: *ooo Cooper looks hot* Gayl, you sit by me. Cooper, whatever happened to the welcome wagon today?

Cooper: *having trouble with the chair* I don’t know. They rang the doorbell and disappeared.

Nate: *putting the entire plate of food in his mouth* Mumph doorbell ditch

Eric: *thinking he should put a photo of his brother like that up on Facebook*

Beth: *watching Cooper eat and wondering why he eats like that. Definitely finishes his food fast.*

Eric and Nate argue about doorbell ditching. Gayl eats politely.

Cooper cleaning up the dishes. He’s done. Gayl’s done. Nate might be done. Eric’s close anyway.

Beth: Hey, I’m not done eating yet…

Cooper taking all the plates whether or not the person is done eating and washing the dishes.

Cooper: So Gayl, what do you think of the place? Everything in the kitchen seems to work. Food tastes great too; maybe it’s the cold air out here.

Beth: I am so glad you enjoyed it. Maybe I would have too if you let me freaking finish eating it!

Gayl: *at a loss for words…love birds already squabbling*

Cooper: I didn’t know you weren’t finished. You sort of looked like you were finished. Didn’t you snack on it while you were cooking? I saw you eat half the bowl of mashed potatoes.

Beth: I did NOT eat half the bowl of mashed potatoes.

Gayl: Ah, Cooper?

Gayl gets up to admire the window or something outside the window. “This is a nice window.”

Cooper makes soothing noises and moves into cuddle position.

Cooper: Come on up here on my lap baby. I’ll give you a little taste of something if you’re still hungry.

Gayl: ah…I think I’ll go look at something in the kitchen or hang out with the twins and THERE they are, hanging out on the kitchen floor.

Gayl: Where did the twins go? Hi sweetie! Peek a boo!

Hugs: *oh no... who's the scary lady?*

Meanwhile, downstairs...

Eric: We need a tv down here. They hog the couch all the time.

Nate: *watching his brother and thinking what they need is a car, to hell with the tv*

Gayl: *How long can I keep playing peek a boo? Must NOT look at what’s going on in the other room.*

Cooper: growl...

Cold nose, warm heart. Got heat going just about everywhere at this point.

Cooper: How about we say good night to Gayl? And whoever else that is who’s been hanging around the house since noon but we can’t see him.

Beth: *incoherent noise which evidently means yes*

Beth: Bye and I’m so glad you came over!

Gayl: It’s a good place for the two of you. It doesn’t matter if it’s small, not for now.

Cooper: Thanks for not insisting Rafe come over. She looks like she’s doing all right though.

Beth: I think she is, Coop.

Cooper: *tucking in Hugs, who is now wearing inappropriately thin pj’s* Goodnight baby girl.

Goodnight Gayl….

Disturbance in the AI

2009-06-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

SB: Gayl what are you doing?
Gayl: I'm preparing. There's an ominous disturbance in the AI. We may have trouble this weekend.

SB: This weekend? You know I don't have the best grip on the AI this weekend; I'm kind of busy.

Gayl: That's why it's happening now!

SNAP! CRACK!

S.B. Hang on! I'm coming! Use the left shield ring!

SB: I can't see it!

Gayl: Use the whip!

STAB! JAB!
Gayl: Got it?
S.B: Right behind you! Yeah got it!

Gayl: That was close...are you ok?
S.B.: Yeah, I'm fine. What was that thing?

Gayl: I'm not sure, but we have to be prepared. It might return.
S.B.: This might not be the best place to engage. You think?

Gayl: We won't have a choice.

SLASH! CUT!!! SPLASH!!

Rafe: What the hell are they doing?
Cooper: I have no idea.

Cooper: Are they going to bring those outfits home?
Rafe: Hell yeah they are. I get the one with the 6 inch spike heels.
Cooper: Fine with me as long as I get the thigh high leather boots - you want the whips?

Rafe: I don't need a whip.

Cooper: *laughs* Did I say need?

Happy Birthday to Gayl from Rayne and Nic

2009-03-23T18:23:00.001-07:00

Rayne: Hi! I’m Rayne and this is Nic. Nic and I are going to bake a cake for Gayl’s birthday.
Nic: It’s a surprise. When my Mom gets back from going out with Dad, she’s going to have a great cake and nobody will know how it got here.

Rayne: All right, Nic. Let’s see…um... what kind of cake does she like?”

Nic: All of those look real complicated. What kind of cake can you cook?

Rayne: I thought you said you knew how to make one! I’ve never baked a cake! I’m just here to help! Put the sprinkles on the top! Don’t you have one in a box we can microwave?
Nic: We don’t have a microwave.

Rayne: Oh. That’s sort of a problem then. I don’t know how to cook anything I can’t microwave.
Nic: We toss all those things in a bowl and then we put it inside the oven for a while. No big deal, don’t worry about it.

Meanwhile, downtown at a very fancy restaurant/nightclub...

Rafe: Gayl, did Nic seem like he was hiding something before we left? You don’t think he’s got someone coming over while we’re out, do you?

Gayl: No, not really. He knows better than to have anyone over there without telling you about it.

Rafe: *not at all sure that’s the case* Yeah, I’m sure you’re right, not on your birthday. What do you want to order?

Rafe: *having a bad feeling about this but not wanting to destroy the mood*

Back at the Taylor Residence

Rayne: Eggs and milk right? What about chocolate milk? That sounds good.

Nic: It doesn’t say anything about what kind of milk, so sure. Use chocolate milk.

Rayne: She’s going to be so surprised! Don’t you ever tell I helped you. I’m supposed to be at the library. Do you know how to put the eggs in this?
Nic: You just smash them on the counter and dump them in. And I’m not telling anybody.

Rayne: *smashing eggs* Like this?
Nic: *watching Rayne* I guess so. You’re doing great, Rainie.

Rayne: I hope you’re right. My mom sort of snaps them. I might have gotten some of the shells in there but with all the chocolate, maybe it will be ok. It might melt them.

Nic: Sure it will. Melt them.

Back to the restaurant

Rafe: *sliding his hand all the way down her bare back* This is a killer dress…have you been hiding it?
Gayl: I bought it just for you.

Rafe: Do you still remember when I took that tutoring job and showed up there at your house? I think about that night.
Gayl: I’ll never forget.

Rafe: Let’s get out of here. I want to take you home. Maybe you could keep that dress on for a little while…
Gayl: *smiling* I think we can probably negotiate that.

And Back to the Taylor Residence

Rayne: Isn’t it beautiful! Your mom is going to really like it! I hope she does.
Nic: It is pretty. You could stay and have some. We could call your dad.
Rayne: No, it’s going to be from you to your mom. Someday you can help me too.

Rafe: Nic, you made this all by yourself?
Gayl: I think he did…it’s a little crunchy…

Nic: That’s the chocolate milk. It helps. It makes it crunchy...and Rayne...Rainie said to tell you happy birthday.

Welcome Wagon - South Beach, Savage Residence

2009-02-21T20:35:00.000-08:00

Slim and Bonni have pretty much lived in the same house in South Beach since they moved in together and got married with the exception of the occasional stay in Slim's beach house in Bay View. Now that Will is a teenager, Bonni wants to try for another child and they decided to move to one of Slim's larger places on the beach.

THE WELCOME WAGON: Amanda Alcaide; Random girl affectionately known as London Bridges; Shana Whitney...and a guest appearance or two.

WARNING: Topless person in last shot...

Bonni: *wrinkling her nose* Slim, this is our first welcome wagon in...well a very long time. I want to get this over with quickly so we can shop for some new furniture. You wait here and greet our guests; Will, you can help me get things ready.

Slim: *waiting*

Cooper: Hey man, I like the new place.

Slim: Thanks Coop! Bonni wants another kid and our other place was too small so we moved in here. It has a private beach. No offense man, but what are you doing here? I see you all the time. I was sort of hoping for a different welcome wagon.

Cooper: I'm not here in an official capacity Slim; I just want to make sure you guys were ready. I'll just say hi to B and Will and be on my way.

*tired of waiting, he heads toward the beach and finds Bonni sunbathing as the Welcome Wagon arrives led by Amanda, who doesn't bother to knock*
Slim: Baby, you ought to use a little sunblock; you're getting a bit red.

Bonni: *mumbling incoherently* Uh huh, in a minute.

Bonni: Woah, I feel a little woozy...better greet the guests.

Slim: *greets a stranger to the NB* I don't think I've seen you around the neighborhood before. Do you live around here? Work around here?

Girl: Not exactly. I sort of wander around. I'm waiting until I get a place of my own.

Shana: *gushing* You and Slim have such a wonderful, romantic relationship. What I wouldn't do for a guy like that...

Bonni: Yeah, Slim, he's a keeper. Want to do some Tai Chi?

Amanda: *who didn't bother to say hello to anyone and just made herself at home* Ooh, why do I always end up in the lame Welcome Wagons. This just is NOT fair!

Shana: *gasping* Good thing Bonni isn't looking or Slim would have some explaining to do.

Several hours later

Slim: Bonni we've got hungry guests and you have been out here for hours. And it's starting to rain baby. I think you might be suffering from heat stroke.

Bonni: Don't be silly; I'm fine. *breathing* Just a few more minutes.

Slim: Oh great, there's someone else at the door. This isn't going well, not well at all. Maybe there will be a PC crash and we'll get a do-over.

Bonni: All right baby, you go put on the pot for some pasta and I'll see who is at the door. *breathing some more*

Bonni: Well hello Nick. Is it hot out here or is it just you?

Nick: *uncomfortable* Uh, it's raining actually and as much as I would love getting to know you better I would prefer not to get on the bad side of Slim's anger so if it's all the same to you, I'll just go in the house now.

Nick: So you see, every time you move you get a Welcome Wagon. Sometimes it's a good one, and sometimes it's lame. Sort of like this one. But it's a vicious cycle. Over and over and over. Round and round.

Will: *to himself* Why did the hot blonde have to give up her seat to this dude.

Nick: *singing softly* Well I'm ready for love...ooh baby I'm ready for love...

Amanda: Seriously Daddy, enough already.

*several cocktails later*
Nick: So ladies, how about we see if Slim and Bonni have a hot tub and talk about the first thing that comes up?

Amanda: *laughs nervously*

Bonni: Dinner everyone!

Nick: Those are some spicy meatballs you got there Bonni.

Slim: You do realize I'm sitting here don't you Alcaide?

Nick: So gorgeous what's your story?

Girl: I don't have a story really. I just came with the outfit.

Slim: Do you smell something burning? B did you turn off the stove?

Amanda: Daddy...

Nick: Not now honey, I'm talking to the sexy raven-haired beauty...

Amanda: Daddy...

Amanda: Daddy!

Amanda: Fine. It's all right...I'm still smiling see? Still have that pretty smile...no problem, no problem at all.

Amanda: You're enjoying this aren't you...

Gayl: *snickering* Why yes Amanda, yes I am.

Shana: So he tells me he wants a divorce but no way is he going to drag me in front of a judge.

Shana: He's going to have to handcuff me and drag me down there. Not that he hasn't handcuffed me before...oh wait, that was the other Welcome Wagon...uh, never mind.

Bonni: Right, well I should probably clear these dishes and you all should be going. Now. That storm is getting worse and I haven't had a chance to check out the furniture in this place yet.

AN: I have never seen lightning strike inside the house before. Yes, it was lightning. No appliances were in use at the time. It came right through the roof.

Slim: Baby you better call a repairman in the morning. There must be some faulty wiring in here. The kitchen smells like something got fried.

Bonni: *WTF???sponging herself clean???* I miss our old house...nothing bad ever happened there...

Welcome Wagon - South Beach, Amanda Alcaide Residence

2009-02-18T12:47:00.000-08:00

Amanda: It is absolutely ridiculous that I have to put up with people I do not like walking all over the place simply because they are the Welcome Wagon. No one I want to see ever comes by.

WELCOME WAGON: Gayl, Cooper, Heydon. Aidan is a walkby who joined in. So apparently is Danny.

Gayl: Hello Cooper. You're looking well.

Cooper: Gayl, you shouldn't be here. I don't recall your name on the list for this lot.

Gayl: Excuse me...there's someone I need to speak with.

Gayl: Welcome to South Beach, Amanda. Now get out!

Amanda: Oh for heaven's sake. If I wanted Rafe, I would have him. Stop being so insecure.

Heydon: *looking on* *he seems to do a lot of that*

Cooper: *smiling* *??smiling??*

Cooper: *no longer smiling*

Gayl: If you put one foot on my lot, I'm taking out a chunk of that blonde hair!

Amanda: How many people are in this stupid Welcome Wagon anyway? Is the whole town going to show up? Now there are five of you here! I want everyone to leave immediately! I have plans! *lying*

Amanda: *stalking off*

Cooper: Gayl, you need to chill.

*?? What about Amanda, Cooper??*

Everybody says something, some of it not very nice. Cooper leaves. Everybody else leaves.

Amanda: *looking out at the ocean* *thinking - He didn't come...*

*No she's not looking OUT at the ocean is she? The ocean is behind her. Sorry about that.*

*No, he really didn't come....*

Welcome Wagon - South Beach, Camilla

2009-02-16T15:29:00.000-08:00

Camilla: Hi! This is my house wait a minute what happened to my car...that's ok it always disappears when I have to move out and then I get it back. I didn't really have to move out you know because nothing vanished or turned into something else except my rug but I might have spilled vodka on it. Pretty sure I did.

WELCOME WAGON: Nicholas Alcaide and Danny Whitney and Sofie Romero. Now I get to say what I think about this Welcome Wagon because it wasn't the one I wanted. I got Tyler's sister Sofie...guess somebody had to get her. She looks awful doesn't she I mean she quit dying her hair and no tan I didn't even recognize her until she opened her mouth. But Cooper stopped by. It didn't make it all better, I'm too old for that and it was never like that, but it helped.

Camilla: *Wait a minute here I'm not letting you hijack this I can write it myself*

So I say to Danny "Hi."

He never did like me. Like I care but he's here so I have to deal with him. And like I don't know what's going on but again I do not care. Just interesting that's all. So he says something rude.

Danny: I'm not saying something rude. Where's the bar?

You certainly do get the picture now don't you? At least he's not the only one here.

Let's see, there's Nick...oh great...not top of my list and his ex Sofie is here somewhere maybe Danny can make nice with her since she's European or something and so CULTURED.

So here we are in the hot tub...Nick is naked but that's Nick. I'm not doing that because...all right I'm not sure why but I just decided I didn't feel like it today. Not Sofie, who is on the opposite side from Nick and talking about violins. I don't like violins. I'm not really into ballet or opera or violins or museums full of art...

I think I'm alone in that opinion though because look well just look at them.

Maybe a change of topic will liven things up...

"What do you think of padded handcuffs? Sometimes you can't close them but if they're not padded then they hurt my wrists and I'm not really into pain not seriously into it..."

What a bunch of...did you see that face? Like Nick never did that? Or Danny? Come on! Not sure about Sofie.

Cooper...I can't tell you how glad I was to see Cooper. Not that I've ever done anything with Cooper but he doesn't have his head stuck up his ass.

Cooper: Hi Cammie. What's going on?

You see that face? Like Danny's been caught in the hot tub with well I'm not going to say who with but it is not me he's worried about. Or maybe the jet got him in the balls the wrong way. If that's the case I need to call a repair person.

Time for some fun....

Camilla: *telling an inside joke to Cooper about Nick*

Cooper: *Not sure he thinks it's all that funny*

Maybe once Cooper gets a good look at Nick he'll see what the joke is all about...

Danny is still in there chatting it up with Sofie. Yes they probably do have mutual acquaintenances. One or two considering he's touring with her brother.

Nick joins Cooper and Camilla. Standing there naked doesn't appear to bother him one bit. Nobody else seems to care either. Maybe that's what the inside joke is about. Carefully hiding critical bits to avoid embarrassing Nick...

Camilla: It was a joke, Nick. Ha ha.

Cooper and Nick watching Camilla. Actually Cooper is watching Nick's reaction. Nick still doesn't seem to care that the two of them were laughing about him.

Sofie: *who finally got out of the hot tub and quit talking to Danny* I suppose you think that's terribly amusing! Maybe that's why you are fundamentally unable to find a serious relationship -- your behavior is atrocious!

Camilla: *tweaking Sofie by flirting with Nick* You mean like the one you had with Nick?

Nick: *thinking...maybe he's finally getting a clue*

Meanwhile, Cooper and Danny are discussing "something" over there...something more interesting than Sofie and Nick and whether she's in love with him while he continues to stand there and smile blankly.

Camilla: *had enough of that, going to join the more interesting conversation, which, unfortunately, has just ended.*

Cooper: *yawning. bored.* I think I'll be going now.

Sorry Coop...I think you have to stay until the rest of them leave...

Unhappy...doesn't want to stay. Doesn't like Nick or Sofie; doesn't get along with Danny all that well; and Camilla alone can't keep his interest for long.

Cooper: *if that's the way it is...*All right, everybody out of the hot tub. Party's over.

Nick seems to get along with Danny better than anyone else here.

Camilla: Well that was a huge bore.

But I can always move out and do it again...

Stuck on You - From the Cutting Room Floor

2009-02-15T16:25:00.000-08:00

During my attempts at taking pictures in Cooper's hotel room for The Other Side of the Stage, Chapter 27, I discovered that when you place a massage table in a hotel room it comes with a masseur/masseuse. I got to thinking...do they ever leave? Of course I posed this question to B who wrote this hilarious scenario for which I just had to capture images! It's strange...but humorous nonetheless. At least we couldn't stop laughing about it...

Warning: Irritated character wearing a towel and colorful language.

You can check out any time you like...but you can never leave...

“That was great, here’s a tip, thanks.” Waiting…"Uh, we’re done. You can go.”

“I don’t go. I stay here.”

“What’d you mean you stay here? In my room?”

“I stay here. When you want another massage, here I am.”

"Yeah, well, I’m not going to want another one. So there’s the door.” Waiting…"What’s the problem? Don’t you get it? I do not want you staying in my room!”

“I stay with the table. I stay here. When you want another massage, I am here.”

“I’ll never want another fucking massage! Not from you… Look, is it the table? You and the table? You can’t stand to leave the damned table? I’ll tell you what…I’m opening the door…I’m shoving the table out in the hall. See? There it is! Go for it!”

“You moved the table.”

“Yeah! I did!”

*Girl moving table back into the room* “This is the Hotel Table. When you check into the room with the table, the table never checks out.”